There is a real transition going on right now as gender roles are meshing with each other that puts women in an awkward spot. As much as I love being the independent boss-lady/travelling gypsy, my life was definitely put on hold (to a certain extent) when I decided to have a child. I naively believed I could just go right back to the way things were, but motherhood changes you in a way I cannot describe. As much as I have a lot on my plate and a direction I want to go in my life, I also want to consciously raise my child (future children) in a way that changes the world for the better.
Its a pretty bold statement I know - but I strongly believe this is my job - and it requires a lot of my time and energy. I do not take the title as "Mother" lightly, and my darling mama's neither should you. As Mother Teresa once said "I cannot change the world but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples".
You right now, raising your child, this very moment is creating ripples across the waters of our future. If together we work at both educating and enlightening ourselves, our children will watch us, and it is proven they mimic examples more than anything else.
Pretty big stuff don't you think? I sure do... so then why are we being told that it is not enough? Expected not only by others, but by ourselves that we have to raise children, take care of the home, husband, find a job, look good... and the list goes on. That mentality is not doing us any good.
I cannot tell you how many times I have been hearing women lately saying they are exhausted, run down, defeated, and worst yet unappreciated by their family and spouse. Regardless of how supportive their partners may see themselves as, there is still often a lot of pressure on the women to do more and I see it taking away the creativity, sexuality and intuitive nature that is inherent in us all. Maybe this has to do with inflation. Your partners may feel financially strained - but this is where communication needs to be at the forefront of your relationship and boundaries need to be set.
Men: Can't you see? That when she puts weight, after weight, after weight upon her shoulders that she inevitably has to set other items down?? You are working hard, I am sure... but in this world - less is what we need... perhaps stop spending on things that do not benefit your soul, or make her feel like she is doing any less of a job.
Bottom line is - if you don't have the money - don't spend it, and don't complain about not having money when you have chosen to have children in the first place. Everyone knows - they can be expensive. But, your children do not also need everything... and teaching them a little humility may do them good.
You too are creating the foundation for your family, your home, and leading by example. What you say and how you show up in your role as a father and in supporting your partner is how your children will be acting moving forward in their lives and with their spouses. Try not to get lost in the moment, the trials of today, and see the legacy you are creating.
Vice versa: if you are a stay at home Dad - you're role is paramount to the success of our future generations and I salute you!
Mama's: You are Queens so start acting like one. *Key word is queen - not princess.... Be smart, educate yourself... be creative, be soulful, be entrepreneurial, be anything you want to be because it makes you happy... not because you feel you have to, and support and love your man. A mans job is to create a safe space so that you can flourish, so please do not hide yourself and your true potential. Your children need a healthy, grounded, patient, and nurturing mother (90% of the time..right?!!).
Your children are energetic little beings, and if you feel shitty, inadequate, insecure - it will rub off on them. Your words have the power to become their inner voice, so choose wisely.
People without children: Look alive, keep your head up and your heart open. Be an aunt or uncle to everyone. You have just as much ability to nurture and grow the future as any other parent does, if not more. While you are on your own journey, please don't forget that there is a world around you in need of your guidance.
You may disagree with a lot of the things I say, but I wholeheartedly believe that we need to focus on the direction we want our society to head in. Not make anyone feel less in a game of who does what. This doesn't mean only focusing on our children, it means developing ourselves as well so that they can see what is possible. You do not have to have it all, be it all, look your best and live in a perfect world, because lets be honest it doesn't exist!
So lets take some time to refocus, and set our intentions moving forward to live in a more appreciative and supportive space - and stop saying/feeling like you are not doing, what is in my opinion, the worlds most important job.
All my love - XO