I think I was about 20 years old when I sat in my empty home that had just been robbed of all of its contents. I was sitting on the edge of a bed listening to Ben Harper say "the more you have the more you have to lose". As I looked around I packed my bags in that moment with what little I had an moved to Campbell River.
Part of me has taken on the nomad-gypsy life style since that day. I never lived anywhere very long (at least not in one home) and felt ease in shifting from place to place and made enough/saved enough that made me happy without feeling worried that I had to do something with what I had. Fast forward 9 years, I now have a little man and fiancé that has grounded me in living in a home for over 2 years - something that has not happened since I was 15.
Now, as life starts moving its way forward in a more secure way, my nomadic side is having to really focus on the realities of life, and the fact that I am getting older. Age obviously has nothing to do with it, but at some point I realized I have to stop indulging in my gypset-go side and start saving, as well as planning for my future. Retirement even! So here I went organizing a list and checking it twice of all the things I want to do and obtain to start setting myself up for financial freedom.
While things are going good, I have noticed this anxiety inside of me picking up as all of a sudden I am acquiring these "things" of life that should be making it easier for the future. "Look at all there is to loose" or "what if you have made the wrong choice" comes in my mind at times. Usually right after I decided I made the right choice and go all in on something.... convenient..
Its not as simple anymore to just work and bank money and have enough to live. Housing prices, and inflation has made it so that wages barely match up with the cost of living, unless of course you move to a city you down want to be in, away from the people you love... I have tried that route, made many great friends along the way, but it was all temporary to work on getting to a place I truly want to be in life.
So whats the other option? With great risk comes great reward! Maybe then we will be able to afford a house, or space to grow and live in... or maybe not. Additionally, tagged on that price is the stressors that come along with it. What if you lose it all? You worked so hard for everything? How are you going to make it in this economy? Where do you end up finding the middle line?
What is the answer? To me - getting unwaveringly grounded and rooted in my own self. Now please, I am by no means there yet, but I am learning as each lesson of life starts throwing itself my way. How I react to each situation truly is the focus here. How much energy I am giving to each situation is another. I think this really is what life is at this point in time... this world, this economy... I am just trying to do all it is that society demands of me while maintaining my inner equanimity and control... AND, trying to create my own life - the one I really want to live at the same time.
You may not agree. And yes, you don't have to have it all, and you don't have to follow societies rat race of living - but you do have to take care of yourself. To me, that means planning for more than just tomorrow - living and being in present time - and letting life's punches roll of your back like water on a cute little duck!
From my heart to yours - XO